wanksclub:

i hope all of this is a dream i’m having at the age of 7

If she doesn’t scare the hell out of you a little, she’s not the one.

-(via xhromosomes)

porpentine:

i’m into really low commitment hangouts like lying on the floor near each other or falling asleep together or falling into an endless void together

thebagofholding:

“man i am so tired” stays up for 3 more hours doing absolutely nothing

tylerchokely:

i hate when babies cry like grow the fuck up and pay taxes 

buddhawassexy:

"he’s 24 months old" bitch your son is two

windexbottles:

"can i borrow a pencil?"

ya here

image

ostracizedpoodle:

no one actually masturbates it’s just a running joke and if you do you’re sick

hannahpooper:

how the fuck does sexting even start like “haha ok that’s cool but let’s talk about my dick now”

eeveez:

you have no proof that i am not at least one of the members of daft punk